Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My dick has a subreddit
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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