sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
