i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
