I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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