i just wanna soil my oats bro
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
