He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
