How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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