there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
