OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
