Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He felt like a one man threesome
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
