We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
