Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
