Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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