you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
