YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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