Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
