remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
