Whod you bang
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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