Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
