she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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