Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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