How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
