WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
As shirtless as possible
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
