they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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