oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
