we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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