The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
