i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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