I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
