There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
