I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
