Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
