Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This house was built for laser tag.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
this is an emotional support booty call
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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