If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
