Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
