i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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