no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
