Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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