"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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