He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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