He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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