I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
