3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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