Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
