This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
