I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
