So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize