Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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