My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
