he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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