I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
