The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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